Does the voice in your head trip you up? Every time you have a cracking idea about how to inspire yourself, care for yourself, enjoy yourself, it starts up with the very logical reasons that you couldn’t, wouldn’t, shouldn’t do that. Mine is the master at it.
The beloved and I have been talking about taking more time for ourselves, letting go of the stress, enjoying ourselves more, having a fun relationship rather than being partners in administration. These are grand plans and ideas but we have been letting life get in the way. Life and the voice of doom. The endless litany of obligations and standards that must be met. Sometimes you need to flick the vees to the voice and leg it.
This weekend, the husband took the kids climbing and I went out with the bestie. The voice said no. Middle monkey was having some confidence issues and I should be there for her. Did the beloved absolutely have this covered? Yup. Did I stress anyway? Yup. Also, what was a thinking that a few hours out of the house would make me feel better? What I should do is work harder. Hard work is good for the soul. Work on making the house perfect, me perfect. The voice had to be silenced.
Rather than drive for an hour or two in the sun, I suggested getting the train to Formby beach. We live next to a train station which gets us to beaches, woodlands, nature reserves and some great walks in about 45 minutes. I’m not making the most of them, I’m simply whinging about not having a garden. A garden that I would not look after. A garden that I would resent the maintenance of.
Travelling with the bestie is always brilliant. She’s laidback, I’m not. I do the organising, she keeps me calm. Even a short jaunt on the train makes me feel so lucky to have met her. We got to Formby and said a very loud prayer of thanks that we got the train. The queue to get a parking spot was at a standstill.
We walked through the squirrel trail, sat under the trees and chatted, we climbed sand dunes and then paddled in the sea. The sky was blue, the sand soft and the water was warm and the friendship was soul fizzingly good. Four hours out of the house pressed the reset button. It’s made me rethink how I spend my time. Having such gorgeous places so close to our home makes me wonder why I’m moaning about moving house, getting more space, living a better life, when I’m not using and appreciating what I have. It turns out a small change of scenery can have a huge effect. Or that might just be paddling with your bestie.