I am a Valentine’s Day refusenik. It’s cheesy, it’s a marketing tool, it gives me hives. The beloved is aware that he married a woman who doesn’t do romance. I like practical things like making brews and taking the bins out. I don’t do great declarations of love or sweeping dramatic statements.
When we were getting married we read the three sets of vows we could have for the ceremony. I made the decision to get married quickly but seriously. My husband was the one for me. That’s it. A done deal. The vows, however, I had an issue with. Forsaking all others? No. Nope. While I will not snog or shag anyone else, forsaking my friends, my family? No. Hell no! We went for the most basic option available so I wouldn’t roll my eyes during the service.
We discussed at length about what our true vow to each other was. We wanted “you’ll do for me, kidder” but we felt it didn’t convey the depth and seriousness of our marriage. At the reception, we announced our true vow. We said aloud simultaneously “I promise to put up with you until one of us carks it”. I meant it. Life can be tough and you do not know what will derail you. Coping with work, family, illness, money and the day to day grind takes a toll. I cannot promise to always like him, or be likable. I cannot promise that I will not be rude, dismissive or a massive pain in the arse. Neither can he. I cannot promise to always make an effort or snog him daily. Heads get turned, life goes on. I do not know what will happen to us. Life is tricky like that.
What I can promise is that I will always love him and I will put up with him until my dying day. He has to put up with me too because he is stunningly romantic, kind, thoughtful and bloody gorgeous and he’s managed to fall for me. Eejit.
Here’s the people who put up with us. Our partners, our families, our friends, our pets. May their love carry us through life and may ours do the same. And fingers crossed they keep putting up with us.