My mother, the sainted Lady Cargers of Huyton and Aigburth, is not talking to me. “Why, would she ever choose to shun you, Fizzy?” I hear you cry. Well, she is upset that I guessed seahorse too early in a game of Rapidough.
My friend Cat bought the monkeys board games for Christmas. They love having family time and are all horribly competitivity so sitting together trying to beat their nearest and dearest is nirvana for them.
We played Frustration and I kicked their little monkey bums. It’s called tactics, losers! Rapidough evened the playing field as my artistic skill extends to applying eyeliner. It is model making charades. In teams, you take it in turns to craft dough models of something. Both teams play at once and the first team to guess what their sculptor is making wins. The winning team get to take a chunk of dough away from the losing team. I’m pretty good at guessing as that’s simply shouting out loud the stream of consciousness that runs through my head at all times. Modelling? Well, I tell you. You make a model of Weetabix and see how you get on.
Team Fizzy were romping home to victory. Lady Cargers was taking up the final challenge against my beloved. When I shouted “seahorse” instead of celebrating our success, she took me to task. I guessed too early. Yes, I was right but the seahorse she was about to create would have been bloody marvellous and no one would have the chance to see it now.
So I have robbed the world of the opportunity to see the seahorse that would have been lovingly, but speedily, crafted by my mother. I feel sad, I feel sorry, I feel… like a winner! You snooze, you lose Mum and I ain’t having any of that!