I am about to state the bleeding obvious: Christmas is not about perfection. Christmas is a celebration of the human condition. It is peace on earth, goodwill to all and being thankful for surviving another winter. Perfection has no place here.
So many people, including my beloved (hi darling), strive for perfection at Christmas. The perfect home, the perfect tree, the perfect family, the perfect food, the perfect moments. All of these things are mythical. Perfection does not exist and if you are aiming for it you will only disappoint yourself.
As with all things, the good stuff is wherever you look for it and the most Christmassy feelings can be found in the mess and chaos. Accept it now. The tree will look wonky, the cat will have off with the smoked salmon while the dog legs it with the turkey. Your family will get on your nerves. That thing your Mum says that always makes you see red? She’s going to say it. The kids will fight. Food will be split or burnt or both. You’ll forget to light the Jo Malone candle. Or you’ll refuse to light it because it was too expensive. You will have forgotten to buy something for the neighbours next door but one and you will be frantically wrapping a bottle of wine you won in a raffle. And breathe.
Christmas is magical but it is real. The world still turns. People still cope with anxiety and depression despite the twinkly lights. We remember those we’ve lost and the pain can be unbearable. People you know and love will be miserable and lonely. Christmas is not a cure all.
Christmas is a call to arms. It should inspire acceptance and kindness. If you accept the wonky tree, the stolen salmon, the red mist and the bickering you will see that these things have brought people together. You can do that every day. You can listen to those who need to talk, or give them a place on your sofa wrapped in a blanket and provide mugs of tea. People need to be seen for who they are and they need to be treated kindly. You can do that and you can do it for yourself, too.
If Christmas stresses you out or makes you sad, opt out. You can say no to it all or whatever bits that make you feel depleted. You can go all out with tinsel and lights but say no to Christmas dinner. Gift giving is optional. So is time with people who make you sad. Invitations can be turned down in favour of nights in with a takeaway. Do whatever makes you feel fizzy for the festive season. Applaud others when they do this. Give yourself a break.
Finally, I know that social media can make it look like everyone else is having the perfect Christmas. Everything just so, glittery and perfect. Sickening isn’t it? From now until Christmas I’ll be posting my #imperfectchristmas pictures of the not so perfect bits which will be most it. Join in if you want and we can revel in the imperfections together.