An odd topic for July I know, but this is important.
I am a light sleeper. The beloved twitches, I wake up. The dog farts, I wake up. Somebody sneezes three streets away, I wake up. Months of being ill, plus monkey illness and messy brain has only made things worse. Believe me, remedies have been tried. Pillow spray smells lovely but does nothing. Chamomile tea renders me unconscious in 90 seconds but I’m awake two hours later trying to remember the lyrics to a one hit wonder from the 80’s. I don’t suffer from insomnia so I’m not qualified to comment, and I won’t be the person who says “have you tried a peg on your left nostril? My cousin Brenda’s gynaecologist’s brother’s mother in law swears by it”, but for light sleeping my cure is socks.
Yes, socks. With socks on I am out for the count and snoring like a water buffalo until the morning. And to be specific, not your own every day socks. The socks must be slightly too big. Slouchy is what we are going for. The other specification is that they cannot be bed socks. Oh no. Bed socks are delightful. They are cosy, pretty and scream ‘lifestyle pages of an October edition of a women’s magazine’ but they are too thick, get caught in the sheets and give you the dreaded foot sweats at 3am. They are a no. (Full disclosure – I have The White Company’s cashmere bed socks. I am on my third pair. Yes, I am a fool and you may part me from my money. They are divine but experience tells me they are for sitting on the sofa watching telly and Instagramming your own feet only.)
What you want are every day men’s socks like these from M&S. Go at least two sizes up for the perfect feel. If you are a giant footed bloke I’m sorry but I can’t help. I’m a tiny footed woman but if I spot anything I will let you know.