I have a dog. His name is Malone. He is a miniature schnauzer. He is the best dog.
I have wanted a dog forever but it was never the right time. Then we got Malone. He’s an eejit. He eats bird poo, is scared of bikes, is overly friendly and a gobby boy dog tart who wants everyone to love him. Apart from the eating bird poo, we are very alike.
I love him more than I can say. He forces me out of the house when I want to hide, makes me be brave and give him his freedom when my heart is in my mouth that he’ll run off with anyone with treats and comforts me when I’m upset because I can’t find the trifle bakewell tarts or there’s a sad advert on telly. And have you ever watched a kid bond with a dog?! Oh my God, your heart will explode.
Get a dog. Borrow a dog. Volunteer at a rescue centre like Merseyside Dogs Home. Dogs are boss.