All hail the televisual gods that autumn is upon us and Great British Bake Off is back!
We’ve only had one episode so far but I am heavily invested. I’m #teambriony immediately. I haven’t taken against anyone yet (usual Marian Keyes rules apply) but am loving the fact that Karen has no bloody truck with Paul Hollywood and brings crisps in case she has a spare five minutes to get her snack on.
I also have limited time for Paul Hollywood. Yes, he’s the stalwart of the show and I know he is a master baker but his attempts at intimidation via sparkly eyes and sarcasm would get right on my pip. I could never apply for the show. I can bake but it would be the show they had to bleep and I’d go down in infamy for being the contestant who swung for Mr Hollywood with a full piping bag and murder on her mind. But Prue Leith, well, Prue Leith is a goddess! She’s spiky, stylish and damn sexy. I love her coloured mascara and acrylic jewellery. If I don’t get to be Jane Fonda when I grow up, I’ll be Prue.
The eldest monkey has a crush on Noel Fielding. The family are fully supportive of this. It’s good to get in to intelligent, kind, weirdos early. Maybe this way she’ll avoid the bad boy trap and just go for people she can chat bollocks to and steal their clothes. I remain devoted to Sandi Toksvig as I have been since my childhood. I want my telly filled with people who are smart, fun and encouraging. Sandi is that woman. Erudite, interesting and has a filthy laugh.
I want to watch people being encouraged to be their best, I want to watch them trying, failing and then trying again. I want to root for people to achieve their dreams of creating images of themselves made solely of biscuits. I want their chocolate to temper, their piping bags not to burst and their ovens to give an even bake. Save them from raw dough and soggy bottoms, please Lord!
Bake Off is about more than cake. It’s about the human endeavour, the sense of community and the joy that can be found at the bottom of a biscuit tin. Long may it continue.