I have lost my get up and go. My pep is pathetic. My fizz is flat. I am zombie Fizzy. This is not down to my workload, this is not due to a hectic social life, this is not because family life can be exhausting. I am not whining about being busy – busy is a choice, not a feeling.
I’m in this state because I am not fuelling myself correctly. Don’t worry, this is not some God-awful January shaped “wellness” sales pitch. As far as I am concerned kale tastes best covered in gravy and the only protein ball I’d get out of bed for is an Ikea meatball, also covered in gravy. Over the past few months, I’ve been concentrating on preparations for family birthdays, Christmas, the monkeys starting school, new routines and making sure bills are paid, there’s food in the fridge and the dog isn’t feral. In the whirlwind, the things that make me fizziest have been ignored.
You need to fuel your fizz. For some, it is a morning run and drinking the good coffee. That’s not my style, I have appalling taste in coffee. I need films, music, books and time alone. All things that have been jettisoned to get things done.
It’s taken me until my forties to release that people really do have different tastes. The people who like abstract jazz are not faking it, it is just their bag and I don’t have to get it. I don’t judge what people love. The bestie has a thing for European drama. If it’s dark, subtitled and shown on BBC4 on a Saturday night she is in. I’ve tried but I’m not the biggest telly watcher. Another thing that’s taken me years to realise is that TV is not my medium. There are great programmes out there made by hugely talented people but it will usually pass me by and I’m ok with it.
You can’t create unless you are inspired. Even if all I am creating is a sponge cake, when you are without fizz it becomes a chore, not a pleasure. So I am going to immerse myself in my favourite movies, listen to some new podcasts and lose myself in the latest crop of book recommendations I have.
Life is short and it is to be enjoyed. I’m going to take some time to make myself my fizzier and then I’ll probably feel like making a cake. Fancy a slice?