We need to talk about weird irrational fears. Correction: I need to talk about weird irrational fears. I’m not talking about phobias or sensible fears like dentists and Daleks. I have no issue with them (I mean, I do have an issue with Daleks. They are terrifying). I’m talking about the little daft stuff that you laugh about at first but that slowly make your life smaller.
For years I have had a little bit of a problem with unknown sandwich shops. What if they have a complex ordering system? What if I join the wrong queue? Are they oneof those places that require you to order, collect and pay in separate places? What if I get it wrong?! Yes, it’s funny and I am now the queen of making other people pick up my lunch but the price is anxiety, disappointing food and a shrinking world.
So I’m writing this in a familiar place but I’ve ordered hot food which I’ve never done before and the sky didn’t cave in. A small step but a significant one.
I want a big, joyful life. One filled with light, laughter, good work and huge love. You don’t stumble across that, you build it. You build it by noticing what sparks joy in you and doing more of it. By finding out what crushes your spirit and running from that like your life depends on it because it does.
You need to notice the good stuff that you’ve got and be honest about how you are holding yourself back from more of that. My irrational fear of sandwich shops is holding me back. So now I’ve faced my own daftness and I’m appreciating a delicious cheese and mushroom omelette, a breather, coffee and a soundtrack of Peter Gabriel, Squeeze and Muse. Fizzy, fizzy, fizzy.