It’s my Mum’s birthday today and she doesn’t want anything for her birthday. I’m ignoring that. I always was willful.
Mum, you’ve had your pressie, there will be cake later. I love you and I want to say thank you.
Thank you for having such a great daughter. I’m ace. You made a great choice having me.
Thank you for not let anyone baby talk me. No goo-goo and ga-ga for little Fizzy. I think that’s why I have such an intolerance for bullshit now.
Thank you for being tough. You raised me, a gobby little madam, as a single parent, while caring for your own Mum and working full time. You dealt with all of the normal child raising pandemonium with added hospital visits, bullying, idiot teachers and bosses on a shoestring while my Nan and I waged war against each other the entire time. It’s a miracle that we all survived my teenage years but I did and it’s thanks to you.
Thank you for never being shocked by me. The leaving school with no qualifications, the “I might like girls” chat, quitting jobs, horrendously inappropriate relationships, moving cities, getting sacked, moving back, getting engaged after 10 days when you didn’t know I was dating. All of this taken in your stride with a deep sigh. Thank you.
Thank you for your support through all of it. You’ve fed me, clothed me, provided a bed for the night, paid for boilers, windows and a wedding. Which leads me to…
Thank you for paying for the wedding. Ack, God! You were right. The beloved and I should have just legged it, come back and told you we’d got married but it wouldn’t have been the same without you. Instead, you saw us through wedding planning when I lost my mind. Being a bride was not something I ever wanted to be and I was the worst one ever. You coped with two wedding dates, three booked wedding venues and ten wedding dresses, some of which are still stuffed into nooks and crannies around the house. The only thing that stayed constant was the beloved and you laughing at me, telling me to do whatever I wanted.
Thank you for being brave and giving up your home to come and live with us. You’ve traded a quiet life on your own for three adults, three monkeys, a dog and a revolving door of family and friends. I hope you like your new home.
Thank you for being there while I battle my messy brain. I know it’s difficult to watch but knowing you are on my side helps.
Thank you for pineapple upside down cake, trifle, profiteroles and good gravy.
Thank you for writing me poems and making Christmas cards. And thank you for crocheting swans and snowflakes.
Thank you for understanding that I just wanted to wear jeans.
Thank you for being there for the school players, recitals, singing and all the other showing off that I’ve done. I have done a lot of showing off.
Thank you for showing me that girls can decorate walls and cakes. That being practical and creative go hand in hand. Thank you for teaching me to dance and how to wire a plug.
Thank you for being the woman who ran Brownie packs when no one else would. Thank you for being the woman who stood up for what was right when the tales I told you about school rang alarm bells.
Thanks for welcoming my friends, my husband, my in-laws, the monkeys and the dog into your life.
Thanks for the sense of humour, the hours of laughter and the sense of belonging.
I am awesome because you are awesome. Thanks for sharing.
I love you. Happy birthday.
PS Malone says thanks for the custard creams.
PPS I wanted to share a picture of us laughing together but I know you’d kill me for putting your picture on the internet. Have a picture of my wedding flowers instead.